Dear Expectant Mother,
We wish you strength and peace as you search for the family who will fulfill all of the hopes and dreams you have for your child. Our names are Rob and Karen, and we are honored that you might consider us for this all-important privilege. Thank you for taking the time to learn more about us.
We hope this letter helps you get to know us and gives you an idea of what your child’s life would be like if you decide to make an adoption plan and place your child in our family. We are a happy couple, surrounded by wonderful friends and a loving family, and our dearest wish is to become parents. Both of us grew up in stable, loving, supportive homes and share the same vision for the future of our family. We will love and cherish your child and raise him or her to be compassionate, confident, loving, and strong. As you learn more about us, we hope your heart can rest with the assurance that we are ready in every way to bring a child into our lives, to help that child realize his or her unique potential, strengths, and interests, and to love and support that child through all of life’s joys and challenges.
About Us: We have been together for seven years. We have always wanted to build a family together, and have spent the past few years preparing ourselves for this exciting change in our lives. After working as a certified public accountant, Rob went to law school and has worked as a lawyer at a firm in Boston for almost eight years.
Karen has a master’s degree in education and worked as a middle school English teacher. She loved teaching and working with kids, sharing her love of reading, putting on plays, writing poetry and short stories. But we thought it was important for Karen to be able to take time off to raise our family. So, she left teaching and is currently working on her certification to become an occupational therapy assistant. She plans to work with children with learning disabilities and developmental delays. Karen plans to stay at home full-time while our child is young, and return to work a few days a week as our child grows older and becomes more independent. We feel very fortunate that our circumstances allow us to make this change so that we can focus on being parents.
We have always dreamed of becoming parents and thought we were extraordinarily lucky when Karen quickly became pregnant about a year after we were married. Unfortunately, Karen lost that pregnancy, and then lost several more. It was absolutely heartbreaking. But we realized that becoming parents and having a child to love was most important to us, regardless of how that child came into our family. Adoption has given us back the hope of fulfilling our greatest dream. We feel that our experience has left us with a new level of appreciation for the gift of becoming parents.
Our Home & Our Life Together: We live in a town just north of Boston in a beautifully restored Victorian home, which we share with our two cats, Harvey and Winnie. We love our neighborhood: it is the perfect middle ground between life in the city and life in the suburbs. We can walk down the street to any number of beautiful parks and playgrounds, wind through our tree-lined neighborhood to the town square for lunch or an ice cream, or stroll to a number of shops or restaurants without having to get in the car. Yet, we are still a very short subway or car ride to Boston and all of the fun, culture, and opportunity it holds, less than ten miles from the ocean, and only a few short miles to the beautiful New England country side. We think that our home and our town are perfect for a young family.
Cooking for friends and family is one of Karen’s passions. We have the dining room table that was in Karen’s house when she was a child. We love to think about gathering our family around that same table for dinner each night, for Thanksgiving and Christmas and birthdays. We love to see the table surrounded by family, friends, and laughter—and to imagine the memories we will make there as our family grows. We also love to be outdoors and relax on our front porch or in our backyard. Karen has discovered that she really enjoys gardening; it’s been wonderful to have a place for her rose garden, hydrangeas, and tomato plants. Rob loves nothing more than to barbeque and together we like to lounge on our back patio while he grills something for dinner and to invite friends over and eat outside when the weather is nice.
We have both done a lot of traveling and are excited to begin our adventures as a family. But we also love all of the opportunities for adventures so close to our home. Neither of us grew up in New England (Rob grew up outside Philadelphia and Karen grew up in a small town outside Chicago), so we really appreciate and take advantage of all of the wonderful places to visit in this area. Often we get up on a Saturday morning, hop in the car, and drive to any one of a dozen nearby coastal towns. We love to walk along the ocean, drive through the country during the fall and see the magnificent change of seasons, and find great little hidden local spots for lunch. We both appreciate the simple pleasures in life, and feel lucky to live in a place where there is so much natural beauty.
Our Family: Karen grew up in a small town an hour south of Chicago. Her family is small but extremely close: just her parents, Karen and her younger brother Matt. Her parents (Kathie and Mike) have been together since junior high school. Although her parents live in Ohio now, Karen talks to them daily. We visit and travel together often, so we see a lot of them despite the distance. We are thrilled that after Karen’s dad retires in the next few years they plan to move closer to us and be an important part of their grandchild’s life. They are excited beyond belief at the prospect of having their very first grandchild. They are incredibly doting parents and will be wonderful grandparents.
Rob grew up in a small town outside of Philadelphia with his parents (Bob and Susan) and one older sister, Marianne. His parents have been happily married for over thirty years. Rob’s sister Marianne and her husband Mark have four children ranging in age from eleven to two. They all spend most of the summer near the beach at the New Jersey Shore. We can’t wait to bring our child along and do all of the things we love to do with our nieces and nephew: to play in the sand on the beach, ride the ocean waves on boogie boards, eat ice cream on the boardwalk, go on all the amusement park rides, grill hot dogs and play board games in the evening before bed and another day of fun. Both of our families are 100% supportive of our plan to adopt.
About Karen—written by Rob: Karen is beautiful on the inside and the outside, and I am so grateful to have her in my life. Although I knew how lucky I was when we were married (and my friends and family still remind me often), I continue to be surprised that we grow closer together every single day. Karen is always there to make me laugh when I begin to take myself or my job too seriously. Her positive outlook on life is contagious and teaches me to slow down and enjoy the moment. Karen is never in a rush, and she never loses her patience while driving or waiting in line, or really ever at all. Sometimes, while playing miniature golf or some other game together, I will try my competitive best to win only to look at her and realize that she is simply enjoying the activity and couldn’t care less about the outcome. Each year spent with her has helped me find more and more balance in my life. I know she will teach our child to see and appreciate the world in this way, too.
Karen has the biggest heart I know. She was the type of teacher who always had a special soft spot for her students who struggled. She worked tirelessly to help them be successful not only in the classroom, but to help them build their confidence by discovering and developing their interests and talents. Karen is one of those people with whom you love to share good news because she can share in other people’s joy like no one else I know. I know her love for your child will be boundless.
When I watch Karen spend time with our nephew and nieces, it is easy to tell what a great mother she will be. The kids seek her out and never leave her side. We first started dating around the time our oldest niece, Kelly, was just learning to read and spell. I remember watching her draw little pictures that delighted Kelly and help her write down the spelling of the item in the picture. I knew then and there that she’d be a great mom. She is the one our nieces and nephew want on their team no matter the game, and she even has that sixth sense of knowing when they need a little extra encouragement or one on one time away from the other kids. Having taught middle school, Karen will also be the best homework helper ever. Karen is a wonderful wife and I know she will make an amazing mother.
About Rob—written by Karen: Rob and I began our life together seven years ago. We beat the odds, and although everyone says that you can never meet anyone nice at a bar, we did! At the end of our first date, I went home and immediately called my mom to tell her I’d met “the one!” It was clear from the beginning that we were on the same path in life, and that we brought out the best in one another.
Rob is romantic and thoughtful and loves to surprise me. But what I really love about him, perhaps even more than the dozens of small ways he shows me his love and care every day, is to see how kind and giving he is when there is nothing for him to gain or when he is dealing with total strangers. There are plenty of nice people in the world, but Rob’s gentle way, his kindness, compassion, and true integrity set him apart. He is the man who stops to carry an old woman’s suitcase up the stairs for her on the subway and is the first to offer his seat to someone else on the train, who researched special education services for his barber who didn’t know where to turn to help her child. Our friends and family members constantly call Rob when they have a question, problem, or concern, big or small. Because Rob is someone who is always willing to take the time, lend an ear or a helping hand—even if he doesn’t have all of the answers. My dad has this same quality, and I remember how reassuring it felt to know that I could always go to my dad when I had a problem when I was growing up. I still do, actually.
I can’t wait to see Rob as a father. When we recently went home for a visit, our little nieces, Laura and Gracie, invited Rob to a tea party. I watched him sit on the floor with them and drink probably a liter of Sprite out of a tiny pink cup and eat as many over-handled gummy bears as the girls could serve him. It was priceless. He is the man who dries my tears, makes me laugh, has approached the difficult times in our life with optimism and patience, and the good times with great joy and gratitude. He kisses me goodbye and tells me he loves me every day when he goes to work, and every night as we drift off to sleep. It seems like a small thing, but it is one of the many ways that he makes me feel secure, supported, valued, and loved every day. He is a wonderful husband and he will make the world’s best father.
Thank you: Thank you for taking the time to read our letter. As we wrote it, we tried to imagine what we would want and need to know about a couple if we were in your shoes. More than anything, we hope you can see that we are prepared to give our hearts and dedicate our lives to a child. We would raise your child with understanding, respect, and love for his or her birth family. Should you choose our family, we would love to hear about your interests and talents or about what you were like growing up so that we may appreciate your child’s inherited gifts, and also give him or her a sense of connection to you and your family. If given the opportunity, we will do everything we can to make sure your baby has the best opportunities to lead a happy and wonderful life.
We imagine that you must be filled with concern, questions, and uncertainty. If you would like additional information about us, or would like to speak with us, please contact our adoption attorneys, Steve and Joel Kirsh, at (800) 333-5736.
We are flexible in the way we approach our adoption journey and want to honor your comfort level in terms of your need for contact, or privacy. If you wish, we would be happy to update you with letters and photos. Though we cannot possibly know exactly what you must be feeling, we hope you have all the support and care that you need and deserve, that you are able to lean on the people who love you during this difficult time, and that you find peace with your decision. We wish you well and are so grateful for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Rob and Karen
