Dear Birth Mom,
We can’t imagine what you must be feeling. This must be an extremely difficult time for you. Maybe we can help each other.
When we started trying to conceive five years ago, we couldn’t wait to start our family together. After all the disappointments with doctor’s visits, shots, artificial inseminations, pills and home remedies, we still can’t wait to start a family. That is why we are so thankful you have decided to give your child life and, hopefully, that life will be with us. Thank you from the bottom on our hearts for taking the time to read our letter and to consider us as parents for your precious soon-to-be-born baby.
Let’s introduce ourselves. Our names are Heather and Mike. First, let’s start with Mike. Mike and I were friends for several years before we started dating. We consider our friendship as being the backbone to our relationship. He is very supportive of me no matter what I do. I went back to college to finish my bachelor’s degree, and although he couldn’t (wouldn’t) do my homework for me, he supported me in other ways. He was always waiting up for me when I would get home in the evening with a hot supper on the table. By the way, Mike is a great cook. He would make sure the house was cleaned and the laundry done. That way I wouldn’t have to try to work full time during the day, go to school in the evenings, and then come home and take care of the house. Plus, that freed up our weekends so we could do things that we enjoy together.
Mike is also a man of great patience and tenacity. We built our home in 2002. We did the majority of the work ourselves. He would work on the house every night, rain or shine, after work. When I would get frustrated because things weren’t getting done as quickly as I would like, he would calm me down with a gentle touch, a warm smile and a calming voice, and tell me how nice it would be once we were done, and would just keep plugging away. He truly is the little engine that could. He will make an excellent father because he will share these same traits with his son or daughter. He never hesitates to pitch in and help, especially at Christmas. When we get together with our family, all the nieces and nephews have toys that need assembling. Mike is always in the middle of the wrapping paper putting the toys together, and he doesn’t mind trying them out first, either. A friend of ours will bring her boys over when her husband is out of town for some company. She and I will chat in the kitchen while Mike and her boys play video games. When Mike comes in to try and talk with us, the boys come looking for him to come back. They love him!
Another thing you should know about Mike are his crows feet, yes crows feet, at the corners of his eyes from years of smiling. To see him smile makes me smile.
Heather is my best friend. Her determination inspires me everyday. Once she makes up her mind to do something, she does not stop until she achieves her goal. An example of that would be her schooling. She successfully balanced working full time, going to school and maintaining a social and family life. She did all of this with a smile on her face. There were tough times, but she didn’t let the little speed bumps get her down. She greets me every morning and evening with a smile and kiss. She is a great listener. Every night at dinner, she asks about my day, and if I’ve had a bad day, the next evening when I get home she will have a little card for me or have fixed my favorite cookies or just something little to let me know that she cares. And it’s not just me that she does these special treats for, she loves her girl friends and is always buying them a little something, dropping them a card in the mail or just calling to see how they are doing.
Heather is like a big kid when it comes to the holidays. She likes to make sure that everything is special. We have a group of friends with whom we run around on a regular basis, and both of the other couples have children. If we are hosting the Easter dinner or Thanksgiving dinner, she buys little party favors for the kids and the adults. She loves to host parties and is very conscientious to be sure that everyone is comfortable and having a good time. We have an annual 4th of July Party when all of the family and friends come over. Heather has the usual 4th of July favors for everyone to play with -- a slip-and-slide for the kids, a volley ball net for the adults and kids, and tons of food prepared. She loves children; she enjoys going to watch our friend’s children play baseball and basketball and participate in dance recitals. One time, she took off work because one of our friends’ daughter wanted her to come read to her first grade class. Heather not only took off work but ordered special cookies with the school colors on them to hand out. She is also a strong supporter of the arts. She loves live performances and enjoys taking our friends’ kids to see children’s programs. She believes that children should have different experiences. Also, I can’t talk about Heather without letting you know how tidy she is. I usually do the cooking, and she is the clean up crew. She actually enjoys it!
We built our home with family in mind. When we first sat down with our architect, we told him we wanted to make sure we had room for more than just us. We have a three bedroom house with three and a half baths. Our basement is a big play area for adults and kids, alike. We have an area that is specially designated for kids to play while the parents are right next door. We have a workout room and an office/study. We couldn’t be happier with how our home turned out, -- all we need now is the sound of little feet.
We have two four legged family members who can’t wait for the new arrival. Bourbon is a St. Bernard who meets us in the driveway every time we come home with her tail wagging. You can almost see the smile on her face or, at least, in her big, dark brown eyes. We have a treat bag in the garage, filled with dog bones, she is so spoiled that every time we go in the garage she wants (or should I say, expects) a treat. She loves to play with all the kids when everyone’s over to our house for one of our many summer cookouts. Sophie is our indoor cat who runs the house. She meets us at the door practically every night when we come home from work. That is if she isn’t in the middle of a cat nap. She follows us around the house whether we are up stairs or down stairs. When we watch TV, she sits on the couch and watches TV with us or, at least, we think she is watching. When we are cooking in the kitchen, she is under our feet meowing the whole time. Her fur is so soft; one touch of it and you forget about all the troubles of the day.
Our neighborhood is diverse: we have some retirees, empty nesters, and young families our age with children. We all watch each others’ houses when we go on vacation. In fact, our neighbors, Mel and Sylvia, are empty nesters and cannot wait until our baby arrives. We regularly do things with them (have cookouts in the summer months and play horse shoes and badminton, go to dinner theater productions, and have game nights in the winter months). They will be like grandparents for our child. They refer to our pets as their grand pets. In fact, when their grandchildren come to visit they always want to come over and play with Bourbon.
Although our neighborhood setting is rural in nature, we are only ten minutes away from the grocery store, shopping and dining. Our community is fortunate to have a great school system with 10 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and 2 high schools. We have a nationally recognized parks system, and our world famous architecture has put us on the map for a constant stream of visitors -- young and old.
We can’t wait to have a child to share in the love we share with our friends and family. All of our family, friends and neighbors are very supportive of our decision to adopt and can’t wait for our new arrival. We are very close to our family and get together for every holiday and birthday. We feel fortunate enough to go on regular vacations and take several long weekend trips throughout the year. We like a wide variety of activities: we enjoy white water rafting, fishing, camping, NASCAR racing, baseball games and lying on the beach. We also enjoy a wide range of indoor activities such as going to concerts, live theater, basketball games, museums, and movie nights on the couch. We can’t wait to share all of our experiences with your child. We believe education is important and feel fortunate that we can provide your child with great educational opportunities.
Would we be happy to send you letters and photographs letting you know how your child is getting along, if you wish.
If you would like to know more about us, talk with us by telephone, or meet us in person, please let our attorneys, Steve and Joel Kirsh, know. You can reach them at 800-333-5736.
Most importantly, thank you for the gift of life you are giving. With us as parents, your child will always know of your love, courage, and determination to see that he or she received a life that offered a bright future and a world of opportunities.
Thank you for this opportunity to share a little bit of ourselves with you.
